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Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others. But what if you have not had luck and you have not been born having this ability? Here we explain how to develop it.
Why is emotional intelligence so important?
According to Psychology Today, psychological intelligence is absolutely essentialto form, develop and maintain close personal relationships.
Knowing how to form close relationships is essential not only for your personal but also professional life.
Nobody likes to work or have an appointment with a person unable to establish a true connection.
If you think that you can be one of these people who find it difficult to create a bond with others, do not despair: unlike the intellectual coefficient (IQ), which does not change significantly throughout our lives, emotional intelligence can evolve and increase with practice .
1. Pay attention to your emotions
In modern life we run from one place to another, busy with work and with our personal relationships.
As a result, many times we do not stop to think about how we feel .
The problem with this is that we run the risk of hurting ourselves and others by not facing our emotions.
No one wants to get home and meet someone who is in a bad mood all the time and does not know why.
Understanding our emotions is also very important at work. A good boss is responsible for creating a good atmosphere in the office, and the bad (or good) humor is easily contagious among workers.
If you feel lacking in practice, try the following exercise.
Put an alarm two or three times a day. When the alarm goes off, breathe deeply and spend a couple of minutes examining how you feel . Identify what you feel and why. You will see how soon you do it without realizing it.
2. Learn to manage your emotions
Sometimes it is difficult to change your emotional state.
Some tricks that work are taking a walk, venting with a friend, listening to music and breathing deeply several times.
Psychology Today suggests that when someone’s behavior bothers you, do not jump to a negative conclusion immediately.
For example, if a friend does not call you back, your first thought may be that he is ignoring you.
But try to see the situation from a different angle. Maybe your friend is very busy.
By avoiding personalizing other people’s behavior we can perceive their emotions more objectively.
It is important to remember that we can not control the actions of other people, only how we feel towards them.
3. Express how you feel
The ability to express emotions is essential to maintain close personal relationships.
We all know that person who has a hard time giving a hug or saying a simple “I appreciate you” .
But expressions of affection such as “I love you”, “I appreciate you”, and “I like to spend time together” are very important to maintain a healthy relationship, like asking the other person how he feels or if he has had a good day.
If you are not a particularly expressive person, you can also use body language.
The eye contact, a hug or a kiss express affection and closeness.
Offering yourself to do something for one person, make a small gift or just be willing to listen also create a closer bond.
4. Take responsibility for your actions
This may be the most difficult thing.
Your emotions and your behavior come from you, therefore, you are responsible for managing them.
If you feel hurt by something that a person has said and hurt you in turn, you can not shield yourself from the fact that he or she “made you act that way”. Your reaction is your responsibility.
If you accept that you are responsible for how you feel and how you behave toward others this will positively impact all areas of your life.